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A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM SHANIA
Dear Friends,
I am so excited to be writing to you personally again after so long.
First I want to apologize for the delay in releasing new music. Music is the
basis of our relationship, after all, and I realize I'm not holding up very
well on my end of the relationship! But music has a mind of it's own, and is
ruled by a writer's emotions and state of mind, not by a time frame or
wishful thinking. I wish like crazy that I had new music by now since I
dream of how fun it would be to see you all again out on tour with new songs
to sing, but as most of you know, I have been side-tracked slightly over
this past year.
The personal issues that took place just over a year ago have been well
documented, and there’s no need to go into more detail here. Since then,
I've been inspired by my pain to write and use writing as a therapy through
the suffering. I truly wouldn't wish this on anybody as a means to get
inspired, but it's been a productive period with so much emotion trying to
find it's way out. However, there is no telling how long it will take me to
actually finish these songs and record them so they can get out to you.
As many things as there have been to write about through this difficult time
in my life, healing is serious business and has taken a lot of the wind out
of my sails, slowing me down at times. As you know, I am a mom and all my
energy goes to making sure my little man is healthy and happy in every way.
This is a full time job, as any parent understands, but especially difficult
when you are battling your own personal crisis at the same time while trying
to spare your child of being affected by your own suffering.
One time when I was having a weak moment listening to some sad music and
sobbing and slobbering over my computer’s keyboard, Eja walked up behind me
and asked me why I was crying. He wasn't sad at first--just totally
surprised to see his mom crying (he is seven and never saw me cry before),
and didn't know what to make of it. During this intense period, I was
managing to hide my devastation from Eja and cried only when I was alone;
but this one time was just too hard for me to control and I broke down. I
was quick on my feet to answer him though and told Eja that music was very
powerful and can make people quite emotional. It can make you want to dance,
feel angry, happy or sad and that THIS this song was sad and made me cry. He
accepted this, hugged me and went back to what he was doing. Phew, that was
tough!
The energy it has taken me to deal with my personal life and managing to
still be a responsible parent has been challenging, and while I have been
putting what energy I have left at the end of each day into my writing, it's
been hard to put it all together into song format.
Please be patient and I will do my best to continue working on a finished
album!
Each morning I put my son on the school bus, feed our two dogs Sony and
Dolly, drink my orange juice and sit down at the computer to write. I spend
most of my time working with lyrics right now, sorting thoughts, expressions
and concepts. It often comes out in the form of poetry, diary notes or
e-mails to friends. My friends are great listeners and are very patient and
generous about it. I often go back to my e-mails for song ideas. When I
write in letter form, I don't hold back. I just write it as it comes without
considering format, topic, manners, etc. Some of my best songwriting ideas
are coming this way.
Time has a way of making everything right, and it is my hope that good music
will eventually come out of it. I say "good music” since I don't want to
just throw anything at you, just for the sake of hurrying up to get it out.
I want my new music to be something I'm personally satisfied with and proud
to share with you.
I have friends and family around constantly coaxing me to focus on my music.
"Your fans miss you. They want new music. It's been too long." They're all
dying for something new too, so they are pretty relentless about it! I know
you certainly all do deserve new music and tour dates; not only because it's
been so long, but also because of the HUGE support you've all given me
during this period. The many blogs and e-mails have warmed my heart,
strengthened my confidence, given me courage, and have often even made me
laugh out loud…in a good way! I know I am not alone and realize through your
support that you are all routing for Eja and I, and our well-being. Thank
you!
The other day I started writing a few pages about being hungry as a kid.
Some of it was painful to think about but it also made me laugh at the funny
times. Reflecting on that period of my life, I realize how true it really is
to learn to take the good with the bad. To appreciate that you can't have
one without the other. The trick is to give the "good" at least as much of
your energy as the "bad" and not to get stuck focussing more on the "bad". I
decided to start writing about other stages of my life to help take my focus
off the current phase I'm going through. When I'm feeling down, I figured
changing my focus to write about other periods of my PAST would help pull me
out of the sadness and on to new chapters in my life. It works.
I will sign off now but I look forward to my next letter/blog to you. I just
wanted to fill you in a bit on what's going on with me and music, as well as
extend my thanks for all of the support that you have given me over this
last year and for all these years; and to assure you that I'm fine and
managing very well, in fact. I'm enjoying my child, friends and family like
I haven't in years, and it's great. I've been experiencing and seeing new
things every day, living life with a different and more optimistic attitude.
I've jumped out of an airplane at 10,000 feet, I'm riding Spanish and
Arabian horses, traveling to exotic places, I've been deep sea diving for
the first time! I pull the odd all-nighter, read more books, listen to Eja's
favourite music with him, LOUD [ironically his favourite band is ACDC] and
basically I'm enjoying life.
Till next time, my friends. Be well, and peace and happiness to all of you.
Love,
Shania |
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